A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a girl who didn’t like meat. Her parents tried in vain to get her to enjoy it and when that didn’t work they settled for making her simply eat it. Her father referred to the offending matter on her plate as simply “protein source” and, with the utmost of sincerity, insisted all the animals served in their home had died of old age or natural causes.

Finally, the girl reached the age of (moral) majority in her house, about fourteen, and was allowed to make her own choices about what she ate and didn’t eat. The teenage years are just hideous, which is exactly what this girl saw looking back at her in the mirror: a hideous lump. But, as she decided, she finally had control over her own situation. And take control she did.

The girl decided to eliminate what she didn’t want to see: fat. So she stopped eating anything that contained even an iota of fat. Calories didn’t factor into her plan; as long as her daily intake equated to less than 10 grams of fat.

Candy cinnamon hearts have zero fat. Fuzzy peaches, zero fat. Raspberry Newtons, 0.2 grams fat. Stoned Wheat Thins, 0.7 grams fat per cracker. Fat Free Yogurt, well, you get the picture.

But, the girl’s all time favorite way to populate her food day was crusty white kaisers from Overwaitea Foods, orange juice and Apple Jacks.

Fearing the girl would surely perish, her noble father took to the internet and came back with this: http://www.fatfree.com/

And even better: http://www.fatfreevegan.com/

Oh, the opportunity! The endless, delicious opportunity! Casseroles, cookies, things that didn’t start with C. Gone were the days of refined carbohydrates and deprivation. In with whole grains and tasty, tasty goodness.

This blog taught the girl about nutrients and balance and happiness. This blog gave the girl a love of food and passion for health.

And she never looked back.

This girl loves this blog and even more so, loves her Dad.

Happy Vegan Mofo.

(I do apologize for the profanity, but they don’t really taste like apples, do they?)